Pure Gold, God's Plans For Us

“…anything partly made of wonder…and partly of brightness…became for me a synonym for the plans of God; so that when I lately read of how gold, that closely compacted metal, becomes transparent (“pure gold like unto clear glass”), it was like seeing a light fall on something that had long lain in a dim corner of one’s room.

"For the plans of God for our lives, laid one on the other like the cubic crystals of gold that make up the texture of gold leaf, do often become clear as we go on.  We look, and are astonished as we see how all the way by which He has led us, every lesson He has caused us to learn, all the spiritual discipline of the years, converge upon a single point, now at last perceived.  We understand, in art at least, why He has led us so.  His golden thoughts of love toward us, slowly unfolding in His providence, are transparent now, pure gold, as it were transparent glass…questions unanswered today are answered tomorrow, so it is in the things of the heavenlies.  Then shall we know even as we are known…

"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knoweth them that trust in Him.”.

“We do not attempt to account for [providential circumstances in our lives and others’].  We only know the outskirts of His ways; and how small a whisper do we hear from Him.  As well try to capture the motif of a symphony from a few bars imperfectly heard, or imagine the finished picture after seeing the colors on a palette, of master the argument of the book of Job after reading only a few paragraphs, as presume to imagine that we who see only a fragment of the thought of God can understand the whole or interpret it to another.  But we shall not be disappointed when we are told the secret of the mysteries of this present…

“The enemy will contest our confidence at every point; he will remind us of the human cause of our trouble.  But faith looks above the human…desperate things can happen---things that are in every way wrong---but faith overlooks the earthly.  Faith sees God….faith worketh by love.

“We have no doubt about tomorrow; there is always something in the thought of our Father that is more profound and more beautiful than anything we can imagine.”

--these treasures, which stand so rich with no commentary, come from Gold by Moonlight, Amy Carmichael

--the view toward the desert

--standing in the same place, looking toward the refreshing oasis.  Amazingly cool under the palms.

His Palaces Beautiful

One of a parent’s hardest things is to see a child go through times of difficulty, sorrow, pain, hardship or want.  And yet we do not see the future, we do not know for what purposes God has chosen that falling out of providence, perfect in plan but packaged rough and wrapped to hide the blessing for a time.

It was in a rustic bookstore in some little Michigan town, stuffed amid piles of used books, mostly cheaper novels and cookbooks, that I found it.  On the red spine in faded gilt I read Lives of the Three Mrs. Judsons.  That couldn’t possibly be Adoniram Judson’s wives?  Reading To the Golden Shore together has been one of my favorite memories, and I am fascinated by this first missionary to Burma who laid wives and children in the grave one after another and saw no fruit from his work for seven years.  (Can you imagine how poignant it was, recently to see photos of Burmese Christians – now Myanmar—loving and serving God under persecution?)  Anyway, the book’s price read $90 and I regretfully put it back.  But the store owner wanted me to have it and sold it to me for $20.  It is indeed a treasure.

 

His second wife was as intelligent and skilled with the pen as his first.  Both were amazing, cultivated women of great talent.  In reading on his second wife, Sarah, the biographer comments on the fruit of hardships in young years:

“Her parents not being wealthy, she was early trained to those habits of industry, thoughtfulness and self-denial which distinguished her through life.  Children so situated are sometimes pitied by those who consider childhood as the proper season for careless mirth and reckless glee; but hey often form characters of solid excellence rarely possessed by those to who fortune has been more indulgent.  Their struggles with obstacles in the way of improvement, and final triumph over them, is an invaluable preparation for the rude conflicts of life; their ingenuity is quickened by the hourly necessity of expedients to meet emergencies, and the many trials which are unavoidable in their circumstances, and which must be met with energy and resolution, give habits of patient endurance, and noble courage…

It is not one of the least of the compensations with which the providence of God abounds, that the very lack of favorable circumstances is sometimes most favorable to the development of latent resources….her whole career shows that her mind had been early trained and disciplined in that noblest of all schools, the school of adverse fortune."

Someone who was very concerned for the continued safety of their child asked me recently, were I to go back and change things, if I would my eldest daughter not have broken her leg.  Six years ago now, the break was a bad one – at the femur, just as her growth plates were developing; and for months there was a question as to whether she would have to have a hip replacement as a teen.   When I reflect on all the ways God grew her through this into a young woman of godly grace, heart-luminous, how could I say I would choose differently than God had chosen?

“Some things cannot be done in a day.  God does not make a sunset glory in a moment, but for days may be massing the mist out of which He builds His palaces beautiful in the west.”  (author unknown)  “Palaces beautiful” reminds me of Psalm 144:12—“That our daughters may be as pillars sculpted in palace style”.  Oh, that we would stay our hands from grasping God’s to pull it away from His sculpting work; we are assured that their growing beauty will be perfected under His loving eye.

In the Light of Your Countenance

Surely all of us have verses that when we come across again in a new season, smite our heart with their beauty once again as the presence of old and best-beloved friends—but better, because they are in part an essence of our Best-Beloved Friend, and a substance of our life hidden in Him:

“Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound!  They walk, O Lord, in the light of Your countenance.  In Your Name they rejoice all day long, and in Your righteousness they are exalted.  For you are the glory of their strength, and in your favor our horn is exalted.”  Psalm 89:15-17

I am reminded that I am not living in reality.  For it has been a time of sorrowing in this private corner of mine; and yet I’m blinded to seeing that I walk in the light of His countenance.  Is He smiling and I’m not looking, my eyes on the mountains veiled with storm?  Why is it so hard sometimes to just look up?  Moses’ own countenance, after seeing that of the Lord of which he was allowed there on the mountain, was so glory-filled that the children of Israel could not even look at him (2 Cor. 7-11).  Further into this thought, Paul tells us that his lesser glory reflected was from the old reality, before Christ, and “the ministry of righteousness [in Christ] exceeds much more in glory…for if what is passing away was glorious, what remains is much more glorious.”

...and about that horn being exalted: from The Dictionary of Biblical Imagery "lifting up the horn of someone means bestowing power, joy, health, prestige...horns also became a symbol for radiance..."

If I find myself weakened in this failing body, but He “is the glory of [my] strength, why thus do I falter?  I need more imagination for a reality check.

“Oh satisfy us early with your mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days! “All our days” coming right after “all day long”.  Not much time in my daily life missing from this equation.

“Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us, the years in which we have seen evil.” Shall I praise Him for the dark threads, the painful moments that have seemed so pointless?  That which has penetrated to the deeps of this heart?

“Let Your work appear to Your servants…” Along with David I will pray that He will show the glory of His plans and His thoughts.  A woman I know who has passed through unimaginable trouble said just last week, “Now I’m finally able to be looking on the other side of the tapestry.”

“…And your glory to their children.  And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands for us; yes, establish the work of our hands.” Psalm 90:14-17

It is enough, it is 'daily bread', to just have eyes to see reality: God’s glory with us, God’s loving plans surrounding our path.  More than enough--and hard enough.

“If Job could have known as he sat there in the ashes, bruising his heart on this problem of Providence—that in the trouble that had come upon him he was doing what one man may do to work out the problems for the world, he might again have taken courage.  No man lives to himself.  Job’s life is but your life and mine written in larger text…so then though we may not know what trials wait on any of us, we can believe that, as the days in which Job wrestled with his dark maladies are the only days that make him worth remembrance and but for which his name had never been written in the book of life, so the days through which we struggle, finding no way, but never losing the light, will be the most significant we are called to live.”  --Robert Collyer

--walking in the lands husband-father's ancestors owned 250 years ago; the stone fences have probably stood since then.  Rendell, Scotland.

--their ducote (pigeon house) built in 1600's

--ancestor's parish church, preserved since the 1800's, on the North Sea coast

--the current parish dog

--walking the path they would have walked to church every Sunday; 

church ruins atop the sea wall

"Oh, God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come..."

--deciphering barely legible ancestral gravestones from the 1800's; 

many more lay under the sod.

--don't you just wonder if some unruly great-great-great-great aunt got a sound talking to for jumping over this same churchyard fence when she was nine?

--we were the most amazing and fascinating adventure the'yd had in weeks and they rushed to the entertainment of watching us

The Quietest Force

The greatest forces in nature are the quiet ones.  The law of gravitation is silent, yet invincible.  So, back of all our activities and actions the law of faith is the mightiest force of the spiritual world, and mightiest when quietest and least demonstrative.  When the soul is anchored to the will of God and His exceeding great and precious promises, with the calm unwavering confidence that His power and love are behind us and can never fail us until all His will for us is accomplished, our life must be victorious.  --Lettie Cowman

Northern Scotland coastline

Love One Another Deeply

I'm reading a most thought-provoking book right now, Practicing the Presence of People by Mike Mason.  Some excerpts:


“People are difficult to see because we are at least two beings rolled into one.  Paul speaks of the “old self” (Romans 6:6) and of the “new creation in Christ” (II Corinthians 5:17)…To practice the presence of people is to choose deliberately to focus on the new creature rather than the old, to see the light in people rather than the darkness…

“The Beatitudes speak of those who travel in darkness but have abandoned the need to know anything about it.  The poor in Spirit, the pure in heart, the merciful, the meek—such souls are no longer asking, “Why does God permit evil?”  or, “If God didn’t want us to eat from that rotten tree, why did He create it in the first place?”  No, these faithful ones are not preoccupied with evil, for they have “seen a great light” (Isaiah 9:2).  So overwhelmed are they by pure goodness that they do not know anything anymore—they only know Who…

“Faith, whether in God or in people, can only happen in utter humility.  It implies a willingness to have neither questions nor answers, only an open ear and a clear eye.  It means entering the larger than life presence of others and letting them teach you who they are.”

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.” (I Peter 1:22)

Looking Up Into His Eyes

This day, have I looked my children in the eyes and smiled from my heart—a smile that says with no reservations, “I love you, and I enjoy being with you”?  Looked my children in the eyes and said with my heart, “I hear you; I know you, and I like you, and I am proud of what Christ is doing in you-- I am eager to see who you are becoming, I desire all that is good for you”.

A reality check with Scripture will tell us this is what God does to us.  Are we looking up and meeting His eyes, filled with kindness?  Are we meditating on the great Love He has for us – a past Love of epic proportions as He has brought us to this place--"by thy grace I've come"; a present Love to carry us through this day victorious in Him, despite our failures and our feelings; and as John Piper calls it, a future grace, a promise of the good that lies ahead in His plans for us; and then finally "safely to arrive at home"?  

“The Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zeph 3:17

“To be strong in the power of the Lord’s might implies two acts of faith.  First, a settled persuasion that the Lord is almighty in power…Second, to believe that this almighty power of God is engaged for its defense, so as to bear up in the midst of all trials and temptations undauntingly, leaning on the arm of God Almighty…the dear love He bears His saints engages His power.  He that has God’s heart cannot lack His arm.”   William Gurnall, The Christian in Complete Armor

The woman leading our book study asked us to put that last line into our own words.  The first thought would be, who would want to tamper with such amazing language?  I couldn’t possibly say it as well as that. But my second thought is,  “How can I own this truth if I think further about what it is saying?”  “He that has God’s heart cannot lack His arm.”

 

She who knows--knows from all God’s dealings with her over a lifetime-- that God loves her, for her it is impossible that His strength—the Power which created and cradles the world—be not hers.

She who reads the promises of His love in His Word cannot lack His strength in the fulfillment of those promises in her life.

She who sees Christ’s love on the Cross for her sin, Christ’s love victorious over the grave, knows she has been given His love for eternity, and does not suffer want of His strength in her earthly days.

Still, one cannot improve on “He that has God’s heart cannot lack His arm.”

“Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand.  You will guide me with your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.”  Can’t you see Him smiling at you, beckoning you to peace within His walls?

And the “looking up”into His eyes, the faith response of childlike trust and leaning:  “Whom have I in heaven but You?  And there is none on earth I desire besides You.  My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  Psalm 73:23-25

Trading for Treasures in Motherhood

When we were finally seated at the downtown dinner I ended up next to a football legend.  “Oh, great,” I thought: “Small talk would be—what?”  I’m not known for my scintillating ballroom conversation.  We listened to the dinner companions across the table discuss how now that their children were teenagers they hated them—thought they were lame, or mean, or whatever teenagers think of parents.  “Well”, thought I, “this is a conversation I cannot join.”  Turning to football legend I asked, “Are you close to your kids?”  His face lit up and he told many stories about his family.  He said he talks to NFL coaches whose kids are messed up and tells them, “Hey, no matter what you Win, what do you have if your kids are a train wreck?”  Indeed.  Forget the football legend.  Better a father legend?

A number of women have said, “I could never do what you do”.  Translated, be home all day with young children, that somehow turned teenagers, and be responsible for their education.  The trophies of victory in the corporate world are something I have on my resume, but I wouldn’t dream of trading a one of them for looking out the window on a snowy day and seeing a six-foot sign carved in the driveway by six hands and a snow shovel:  “I LOVE MOM”.   Or a lavish daughters’ dinner indistinguishable from the finest restaurant in town.   Or a bear-hug from the son every morning who asks me how’s it going, and who every spring  tills my garden whistling. Or a thousand other gestures of love, now maturing into strong relationships.  I love and admire who they are becoming.

Two ladies I overheard in the store, telling lengthy self-absorbed- teen stories and commiserating, “You try to do what is best for them, and then it turns around and bites you in the ___”.    I’m just wondering:  How much of our own self-absorption just gets transferred?  If we serve them joyfully when it is our time to serve them, and show them what it means to be other-focused, will they serve joyfully from the first years they are able to bless?  I remember an afternoon I came home bedraggled from errands and they had mowed our (huge) lawn, gotten dinner on, cleaned the house, and whatever else they could lay hands on—just to say “I love you”.  I think they were about 5, 8 and 10 at the time.  Perfect kids?  Hardly that!  They’d be the first to set you straight, and I could tell stories.  And boy, could they tell stories about their imperfect and growing-in-the-journey mother.  This has, in fact, been a year of great struggles and growth.  No, not perfect.  But they hear a higher Call.  By God’s grace, glimmers of Love shine through the cracks in our earthen vessels spun into shape on His Potter’s wheel.

What price?  The pieces and parts of my self that I’ve left behind along the way, the tears and prayers that continue—for neither they nor we are in any stretch fully sanctified—the things I’ve never accomplished, mothballed talents, they all count as pebbles alongside the gold that is life in this family, these children, in motherhood. 

Have there been some bad days?  Oh, some very bad days.  And some very, very bad days.  And some no-good, bad, terrible horrible days.  But the question comes, who are we ourselves wanting to become in the storm-days of this Chosen stress and tension and extra responsibility?  Does the struggle to pour out love in season and in storm serve a purpose in our own journey?  His purposes? Are my eyes fixed on that precious-in-the-sight-of-God gentle and quiet spirit?  Is who I am in Christ, and who I am becoming in Christ, more valuable to me than significance in the world’s balance?  Visible “trophies”?

Is it easy?  Does it get easier?  Ann Voskamp writes truly, The mantle of motherhood can feel like the weight of a universe and raising a child is to be entrusted with a bit of eternity. Would I be fool enough to take the matter lightly? The charge of a small child is no small charge and you’ll have to charge the gates of heaven to hold back the forces of hell."

Is the goal for which I plead the same as on a recent ad for a clothing store: “Make mom’s life one long weekend”?  Just days before Mother’s Day, the sentiment sells.  Our goal—to make our lives easier?  Pleasant, sunny, relaxed?  Days on Maui? Laborers now below me to do all the work?  Much to the contrary.  We serve a risen Christ and honor Him by working with all our strength, working in unity, working to show ourselves approved unto God, working in His vineyard till He comes, working as a high calling to His glory.  Then the work becomes a blessing, and the Proverbs 31 woman is not an unattainable mockery.

At the end of the day, it’s all of grace.  His grace that has brought us safe this far and will lead us home.  Undeserved, His grace stands as His Mother’s Day gift of love every day,  if we are humble enough to accept what His hand brings us this day.

--Birthday games

--a thousand bouquets

--building driftwood castles and memory fortresses