13 Lessons #7 No Greater Joy Part II

At this most faith-encouraging conference we attended last weekend, comprised mostly of leaders in the broader church community, one speaker spent the last 20 minutes telling his story of their daughter’s turning from the Lord at age 16 and living a nightmarish rebellion for several years until the Lord answered their prayers and brought her back to Himself.  He then did something unprecedented.  He gave an altar call--not for those desiring salvation, for everyone there was involved in some aspect of ministry or was heavily supporting ministry—but for the parents and grandparents of those whose hearts were heavy over a child in overt rebellion against the faith.  A few immediately left their seats, and my heart began to sink as I had this fleeting thought, what if more than just this few came forward on this?  What would be the sadness and the profound generational implications of a number of people gathering up front – each one a story, each one showcasing a heart that at some point had seeds of doubt, apathy, temptation, worldliness, rebellion, planted, and in those secret places there was no one there to see it?  Did no one pull the first seedling weeds, did no one heed the veiled eyes, the defiant look, the undertone of answer, the dust on the Bible once so hopefully supplied, the turning of the mind to things distracting and defiling?  And then the long slide, the moments of decision strung together until the choking necklace of servitude to the evil one claimed its prize and the son of daughter turned to his parents and said, “Not your way, but mine.  Not your God, but my god, myself, and my desires”, not knowing indeed it was but an idol after all, and an infinite slide into the abyss. 

My worst fears were confirmed and then they kept coming.  A man seated nearby groaned in prayer, and I felt my own spirit groan within me—Oh, God, have mercy.  They just keep coming.  Over half of the 400+ people were standing at the front.  Constellations of grief, refracted sorrows.  The speaker prayed over them and I felt frozen with sorrow.  How is it that these numbers of our youth are being lost?  Shall we not spend considerable time praying and fasting about why we are not cultivating willing and ready soil to take up the mantle of the next generation?  We are all too busy, too distracted, and we do not recognize that the soil is tended early—oh, so early.  

Another speaker mentioned that now, by 12 and 13, youth have experienced much of the world and sin and are already becoming cynical and lost, in a way that used to attribute more to late teens/early twenties.  I perceive that the ages of 8-9 are hugely pivotal in discipling hearts, and the ages of 5-7 in cultivating appetites in antithesis to the culture of the world around us.  Under 5, habits of the heart and an allegiance to, a longing after, obedience.

At breakfast we sat with a family and asked one of the girls, 15, what she’d most enjoyed about the weekend.  “Dinner last night”.   “Oh, the mother filled in, “they’re just hanging out in their room and at the pool.  They would say the sessions at Universal Studios and DisneyWorld were their favorite ‘sessions’.  They came in last night the last twenty minutes when R-- was speaking and they said they couldn’t understand a word he was saying.”  (I just have to add here that the man who was speaking at this time is one of the most interesting and lucid, heart-reaching, culturally astute speakers/story-tellers I’ve had the privilege of hearing.  Our hearts burn within us…)  Cultivate the soil—early.  Their ‘hearing’ can be trained to take in godly counsel with joy and understanding, and a healthy stretching toward deep matters of life.

When they are very young it is a bit of a different matter than a few years later. What goes into their mental basket dictates what begins to forge and form appetites even before they really have the ability to begin the process of discernment. If their imagination is already captivated by worldly things, it is what will define their thoughts and desires in pre-teen years, creating noise that will crowd out a quiet spirit and a deep desire for Christ. If their imagination is cultivated in the areas that allow them to focus on that which is good, true, pure, lovely, then when they come to an age of understanding, of being able to make certain connections, then those good things can take root and grow and be nourished because there exists an appetite for them, and soil uncrowded and undistracted.

But when they come to this age and thereafter, it ceases to be the critical, main thing that they be shielded from each soiling influence, but rather that they have such a love developing in their hearts for their Savior, profound gratitude for what He has done for them, that they love to learn more of Him; and they are mortified at the idea of doing that which would displease Him or run contrary the set-apart life He asks of them.

This change is easy to miss and hard to navigate. It’s a trajectory from one to the next, always we as parents looking ahead to the emerging of their loyalty to Christ, their unshakable love for him and gratitude for His work in their lives, His powerful presence in them, hearts alive with understanding. They still may not have all the discernment built up, practiced, that they would need, and they are always thinking they are stronger than they are to resist temptation, to see clearly, to discern rightly. But it no longer is the primary need to keep them from each pitfall. It is the primary need for them to Love Christ and His Ways. So easy to let the protection be all about prevention and not about preparation.  But the Words We Speak are signposts to them, directing them in one Path or another path.

At all times this discipling is a matter of prayer.  At all times it should be a captivating transference of the immensity of God’s character, Christ’s gift to us in the Cross, and His Presence in us, His temples.  If we ourselves are not just daily undone with this reality, we hardly will create wonder in their hearts over it.  Sometimes it is making sure we ask after the state of their heart.  So many times, it seems, parents don’t feel they have the right to ask probing questions, to pry towards the inner thoughts, to direct them to a life-saving dependence on Christ, to illumine again, and again, the beauty and awe of the gospel.

Oh, it is the passion of my heart that we would desire the winsome glory of youth be invested wholly in glorifying our Lord and Christ.  And when any of us see good fruit being borne in them may we in gratitude say it is grace upon grace from His storehouse, undeserved.  The hand tool, the hammer and the chisel, can hardly look at Michelangelo’s masterpieces and say “I did this!”